Letters from Mercutio

Dearest friends,

I have been having quite a ball in Hawai’i. The sun is hot, and so are the females. I have no idea why Romeo thinks Verona is so great. I would be happy to have been exiled. I would have gone straight to Hawai’i. In fact, I think I will speak to you in the native language of the people here in Hawai’i, a.k.a. pidgin.

            Sup bois. Ova hea in Hawai’i, it is goin pretty cherreh. The scraps are just my speed. The kanaks like to get down and dirty just like me. There are also some pretty wild ragers goin on in this 808 state. I neva gon leave cuz Hawai’i is just my style.

            It took me a long time to learn the language of the people here, but they have so much Aloha that they are not hard to learn from. But the problem here is that there is too much love going around. It is sickening for me. I do love this state, but this may be the deal breaker.

            Romeo you fool! Do not complain about your status of banishment. It is a better status than dead. Just because you love Verona does not mean that you cannot find another place to love. Take Juliet with you and run away. You can be happy with her somewhere else. Of course nobody listens to the wisdom of Mercutio. One day you will all learn how smart I really was. I was never just a pretty face.

From a beach in Hawai’i,

Mercutio